i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
