How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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