The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
