i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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