Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
