so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
