Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
