I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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