did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
