My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
