C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
This is the high leading the old right now
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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