ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
