We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
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Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
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My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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