you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Farmville is her only friend.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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