I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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