Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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