Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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