"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize