i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
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I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I want to be your penis for a week.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
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Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He has the fingertips of a God
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