i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
