I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
