the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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