Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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