So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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