'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
it was like his penis was on wheels.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
