And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
