my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
