They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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