Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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