i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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