redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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