So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He's on the porch naked. Help.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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