Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
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