i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
