i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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