OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
