Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
