hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
did i walk over a car last night?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
