So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
