Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
