yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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