Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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