Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
