i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize