I am in a vortex of obligation.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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