You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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