it wasn't lemon gatorade
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
When are your genitals available?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
