I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
