their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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