Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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