so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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