After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
