Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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