Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
