Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
