Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
