My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm at about main and main street
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
