My brain says no but my pants say off.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
