He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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