I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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