sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
