no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
