omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize