My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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